Don't you send me to vm
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
