After last night, I could never be a politician.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
