I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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