So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
