Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
