Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
