i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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