and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
