I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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