i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
