The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
