I love black thongs
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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