My cat gives me a boner
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
wow bdsm is so cute
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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