New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
