Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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