He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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