remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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