I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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