ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
