y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
