Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize