I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
