I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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