he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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