What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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