I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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