It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh god it's open bar.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
