Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
