I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize