Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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