Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
