Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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