dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
