Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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