What a fucking waste of an outfit
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
