I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.