found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
