I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize