Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
