reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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