Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
is it fun? or sober?
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