we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
