He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
