This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
