Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
