She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
