he thought i was a dude.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
