idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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