What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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