this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
