ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
