trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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