im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
