Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
