good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
