I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
