My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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