We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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