let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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