i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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